heartfelt tributes from proud parents and favourite song lyrics performed by close friends. “If you want your granny to be your flowergirl, your best friend to give you away and your entrance music to be Meatloaf, you can absolutely do that. If you want your cousin to read from your favourite childhood novel, that’s wonderful. If you want one ring, two rings or no rings at all, the choice is yours. I’ve seen hidden ring bearers, surprise readings, beloved family pets carrying rings and even the occasional puppet. The best part of the job is seeing the many different ways couples make their ceremony their own. “The legal framework does not prevent personality. It simply provides the structure within which a marriage becomes legally recognised. There are, of course, some words that every couple must say. These are the legal vows. The declaratory words confirm that there is no lawful reason why the marriage cannot take place. The contracting words are those through which the legal marriage is formed. Far from being an inconvenience or a boring formality, these are often the most significant words spoken during the entire ceremony. This is the moment when you could hear a pin drop. After all, these are the words that transform two people from an engaged couple into a married one. “Long after the confetti has settled, the flowers have faded and the last dance has been danced, those words remain the foundation of a marriage recognised in law. “You may choose to declare your love to one another on a mountaintop, beside the sea or in a family garden, and those moments can be incredibly meaningful. But under the current law, unless the legal requirements have also been fulfilled, that couple will not be legally married. “For many couples, that legal aspect matters enormously. This is where registrars occupy a unique position within the wedding industry. We are public officials carrying out a legal function on behalf of society, ensuring marriages are entered into lawfully and with appropriate safeguards for everyone involved. At the same time, we are helping couples celebrate one of the most important days of their lives. Those two responsibilities sit comfortably alongside one another. “While registrars work for local authorities rather than directly for couples, that doesn’t mean we care any less about the experience. On the contrary, many registrars have devoted entire careers to helping people mark life’s most significant milestones with warmth, professionalism and genuine enthusiasm. CELEBRANTS AND REGISTRARS CURRENTLY FULFIL DIFFERENT ROLES “A celebrant provides a private service chosen by a couple. A registrar provides the legal authority required to create a marriage recognised by law. Neither role needs to diminish the other. “We feel there is room for everyone within the wedding industry because different couples want different things. Some are attracted to the flexibility celebrants can offer. Others value the reassurance of a legally binding ceremony conducted by experienced public officials. Most simply want a ceremony that feels authentic, memorable and right for them. “There are practical advantages to the registrar model, too. Many couples won’t meet the registrar conducting their ceremony until shortly before the wedding begins. However, behind every ceremony is an entire team working to ensure everything runs smoothly. If illness, a family emergency or any other unforeseen circumstance arises, another trained and experienced registrar can step in. The ceremony can still take place and the couple’s day remains protected. “I can’t speak for every registration service in the country, but I do know that across England and Wales there are hundreds of dedicated, skilled and compassionate professionals carrying out this work every day. What we share is a commitment to helping couples begin married life with confidence, dignity and joy. FINAL THOUGHTS “As Parliament continues to consider future reforms to marriage law, there will undoubtedly be lively debate. Debate is healthy and helpful. Ask any couple married by Surrey’s legal registrars and I hope they will tell you their ceremony was both personal and legal. Both professional and heartfelt. Registrars do not need, nor want, to disparage others in order to explain our value. All we ask is that couples are given the facts and allowed to choose the ceremony that feels right for them.” Joanna Ranson Photography 21
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