asking the wedding couple if it is allowed is only acceptable if you’re in a long-term relationship. “Approaching the couple about potentially bringing a plus-one would usually only be considered acceptable if it is a serious, long-term relationship (a new boyfriend of four weeks usually won’t cut it).” WHAT IS THE ETIQUETTE AROUND WEDDING OPEN BARS? We all let out quiet celebrations when we find out that the wedding we are attending is an open bar, but is it really the party we think it is? Yes, you may enjoy it at the time, but what about the next morning, when you are faced with your actions from the night before? The best way to maintain the purity of an open bar is to not push it. You want to show gratitude for their generosity but not to abuse it and leave a foul taste on the night. Emily explained, “A good rule is to limit yourself to one drink per hour and don’t start drinking until after the ceremony. Sure, preceremony cocktails may seem fun, but I have witnessed too many guests slurring through readings or stumbling down the aisle – and that is the type of moment that stays with everyone for all the wrong reasons.” “For wedding party members, you set the tone for the rest of the evening, so it’s respectful to refrain from drinking until it is all clear. Also, keep in mind, the couple are paying for that bar – it might seem fun to you to order five shots in a row, but it is costly and somewhat impolite.” Additionally, Jo gave a stark warning to avoid getting drunk at all costs while attending a wedding. “Too drunk? Any level of drunk is a faux pas. I don’t care if some say it’s ‘the norm’ for their family circle. If you want an etiquette expert’s perspective, the general etiquette rule is: no intoxication!” COMMON WEDDING GUEST OUTFIT MISTAKES We all know that classic rule of don’t wear white to a wedding (unless specifically advised to), but there are other things we need to consider when choosing the right outfit. For single attendees to weddings, you may view this as a brilliant opportunity to meet someone and start your own love story. But dressing too ’clubchic’ sends the wrong message and ruins the tone of the day. Think whimsical love and rom com; not booze, beats and late nights. If you wouldn’t want your boss to see you in that outfit, then put it back in your wardrobe. Jo explained, “really, the only ‘rule’ is for women, who should avoid wearing all-white. Anything that looks too close to what the bride will be wearing is a no-go. This also includes very light shades of cream or very pale pastels. A woman appearing in a long, all-white (or, very pale) gown is erring far too close to the bride’s outfit and could potentially be trying to steal the spotlight.” Emily added, “Another controversial colour is red; Western cultures consider red blatantly conspicuous and would even think it inappropriate if it dressed too ’sexily’ for a formal wedding. Black is still another colour that presents a challenge. Contemporary weddings may tolerate its use, but previous generations will link it symbolically with mourning.” THE DOS AND DON’TS OF WEDDING GUEST ATTIRE Nicola Barker, head of buying at Suit Direct shares her top tips for wedding guest styling: “The golden rule is simple – dress for the occasion the couple planned. That means following the dress code on the invite, whether it’s black tie or cocktail – and never assume ‘casual’ means jeans and a pair of trainers. Even at a laid-back venue, it’s still a special event, so I’d always advise to dress slightly up rather than down.” DO Incorporate colour thoughtfully: Before reaching out for a bold floral or a standout shade, take a second to check the couple’s overall colour scheme. While you’re not expected to blend in, it’s thoughtful to avoid matching the bridesmaids or groomsmen. Choose complementary tones that don’t draw too much focus. Ensure proper fit: Re-wear older items only after confirming they still fit well. Try it on well before the big day. Bodies change and so do tailoring standards. If it doesn’t fit quite right, make sure to get alterations booked in. Pack essentials: Even the most carefully chosen outfit can run into last-minute mishaps. A mini sewing kit, lint roller, and a couple of safety pins can save the day — and someone else’s too. DON’T Avoid last-minute packing: Hang your outfit as soon as possible and use a fabric steamer to eliminate creases. Skip floral boutonnieres: While it might seem like a sweet detail, floral accessories like boutonnieres are traditionally reserved for the wedding party. Opt for a stylish lapel pin or pocket square instead — it’s a great way to show personality without stepping on the groom’s toes. Reserve special looks for the groom: Unless the invitation specifically calls for it, steer clear of white dinner jackets, statement tuxedos, or anything that might read as ’main character energy’. These standout styles are typically reserved for the groom and his groomsmen. unsplash.com@ld05 Nicola Barker, www.suitdirect.co.uk Jo Hayes, www.etiquetteexpert.org Emily Thompson, https://positivesdating. com/author/emily-thompson WEDDING GUEST ETIQUETTE 41
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