WEDDING GUEST ETIQUETTE Wedding guest advice so you can avoid the classic blunders With many of us gearing up for a summer of ceremonies, receptions, and dress codes; Nicola Barker, head of buying at Suit Direct, has teamed up with etiquette expert Jo Hayes and dating coach Emily Thompson, to unveil the list of things that wedding guests should never do. The standard rules are pretty straightforward and only require you to be conscientious of the couple and their planning process. However, there are some of us out there, who fall victim to the same wedding guest mistakes... Emily explained that a late RSVP can cause instant chaos for the wedding couple, “LateRSVPing is the silent killer of etiquette; it messes with everything from seating charts to catering orders. People don’t realise how much depends on these final counts.” Another silent blunder is skipping the nuptials and only turning up for the after party, Emily said, “It’s just poor etiquette, unless you’ve cleared it with the couple ahead of time. The ceremony is the whole point of the day – where the couple make their vows and, usually, in front of their nearest and dearest. Not being there sends a clear message that you’re here for the food and drinks, not for the marriage. I’ve heard couples say it genuinely hurt their feelings to look around during the vows and see empty chairs, that later filled up at the reception. If for some reason you can’t be there for the ceremony, let the couple know ahead of time, and express your regrets.” Jo added, “To be invited to a wedding is a great honour. The couple could have invited someone else, giving another person the opportunity to witness and celebrate their vows, had they known you wouldn’t show up. Intentionally choosing to skip this part of the occasion is disrespectful.” CAN YOU BRING A PLUS-ONE IF THE INVITATION DOESN’T SAY SO? Weddings present a very unique situation where two different worlds collide – sometimes, you only really know the newlyweds, making arriving solo extra awkward. However, as daunting as this may be, the day isn’t about how you might be feeling. You are there to celebrate the love between two people and watch as they join forces. In short, if it’s not written on the invitation, no plus-one is invited. Jo said, “A firm, no. Weddings are expensive events to put on, which often means, limited guest capacity. Couples spend a lot of time curating their guest list to ensure they hit the right balance regarding guest numbers and financial constraints. Brazenly assuming you can bring a plus-one, without that plus-one being specifically invited, is disrespectful, and dare I say, supremely entitled.” Emily agreed, adding “Your invitation should specify in so many words, ‘and guest’, or else your plus-one is strictly not allowed. Guests should resist misinterpreting vague RSVP cards, to bring along a date on the big day, to only sit at a table with no setting for them – awkward for all involved. Couples decide upon their guest lists carefully, balancing venue space with constraints imposed by budget and family politics. It isn’t just a matter of finances but rather of space and intimacy. Erring cautiously, if there is some uncertainty, an email/text should suffice as a polite way of clearing up the matter; it’s always better not to assume. Having someone not invited turn up puts pressure on the couple and their planning team on-the-day – believe me, I have seen this cause chaos.” If you’re unsure about whether you can bring a wedding guest, Jo explained that unsplash.com@thomasw 40
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy MTA0NTE=