GUEST LIST POLITICS A political minefield worthy of the House of Commons? Possibly but not necessarily. There are a number of areas that the world and his wife will want to weigh in on when it comes to your big day, your guest list being chief amongst them. Do your parents and in-laws already have their own lists drawn up for you? Do you feel the pressure to invite your entire office? Pause, take a deep breath and before you do anything else, check out our easy steps to compiling the guest list you’re both happy with. STEP ONE Sit down together and compile a master list including absolutely everyone you’d invite if money and space were no object. STEP TWO Refine. Carefully consider your budget – how many meals are you prepared to finance – and venue capacities. Now you have your limit, it’s time to start whittling that list down. It goes without saying to be respectful of each other’s wishes. Try breaking it down into categories such as A, B and C. A list being those you couldn’t imagine your day without, your VIPs, the non-negotiables. B list contains the next in line, those you’d like to invite space permitting. Sounds harsh, but C list will be the first to go if you’re struggling for space. It might feature possible guests you feel pressured to invite but aren’t important to you, distant relatives, or plus ones for example. If some of your Bs and Cs don’t make the final daytime cut, you can always add them to the evening-only list. This is particularly helpful to bear in mind if you have a big social group you’re struggling to accommodate or split up. STEP THREE Family expectations. If both sets of parents have piped up with very specific ideas of who you should invite, it’s important to open up honest lines of communication from the start. Naturally, you want to avoid family drama. So, while it’s important you get final say over the guest list and ensure your own loved ones are present, there’s bound to be a happy medium to be reached somewhere along the line. Giving both sides a quota of guests they can invite might help parents to stay focused. Help them to understand that your budget won’t extend to great aunt Ada who hasn’t seen you since you were two and they should understand. If it’s that important to them, they may volunteer to fund extra meals, venue capacity allowing. If not, you’ll need to be firm but fair. Finally, try to keep to blanket rules. For example, it’s kinder and understandable to say that you don’t have space to invite cousins, rather than to invite your spouse’s cousins and not your own, which might cause discord within your family. STEP FOUR Plus ones and children. Decide on your policy for families of your guests. If numbers are tight and you only know one side of a couple, you may wish to ban generic plus ones. That is to say, if you can’t actually name the partner or you’ve never met them, you don’t have to invite them. Likewise, you may decide to opt for a child-free wedding; not only for reasons of keeping numbers down, but a wedding with children and one without are two completely different propositions. STEP FIVE Stagger your invites. The daytime invitations will be the first to go out around 12 weeks ahead. Set a deadline of four weeks for RSVPs, and this way you’ll have a clear picture of any opportunities to bump up evening guests to day guests, before sending those invitations out around eight weeks in advance. Work together to decide who’ll fill these spaces. TOP TIP TIME TO EXCEL Maintain your guest list in an easy-to-organise format such as an Excel spreadsheet to avoid confusion or a diplomatic crisis. Keep track of RSVPs, categories, deadline dates, guest numbers, dietary preferences and more. unsplash.com@karibjorn STATIONERY 41
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